


A Fool's War

by happyaspie



Series: Tony Stark is a Good Mentor [45]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: April Fools' Day, Attempt at Humor, Identity Reveal, It's all fun and games, Light Fluff Should be a Tag, One Big Happy Avengers Family, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Precious Peter Parker, Randomness, Tony Stark is a Good Mentor, Tony Stark is a Piping Hot Mess, Water Balloon Fights, Water Guns, light fluff?, maybe fluff?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:55:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23428087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happyaspie/pseuds/happyaspie
Summary: Tony has a grand and fabulous idea as to how to pull ahead in any and all prank wars amongst his teammates.  An idea that involved, several hundred water balloons and a reluctant spiderling.  ...and it was April Fools Day to boot.  What could do wrong?
Relationships: Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Tony Stark & Avengers Team
Series: Tony Stark is a Good Mentor [45]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1397362
Comments: 14
Kudos: 272





	A Fool's War

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ninjazzz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ninjazzz/gifts).



> Ninjazzz asked: _Ever think of writing a one shot where the avengers don't know Peter is spider Man and he and Tony tell them through a water balloon war? Like. Peter is on the ceiling and just bombs the avengers with a boatload of water balloons. And even Friday helps Peter out cause she's sassy like that and likes Peter?_
> 
> I went _a little_ off prompt here but I hope I hit all the right spots to make it worthwhile. It's just that when I read that question... my mind automatically said 'Oh my god... it's almost Aprils Fools and this sounds perfect.' Thank you Ninjazzz for the inspiration!

"I think this is a really bad idea, Mr. Stark.", Peter said as he shifted on his feet and look at the pile of water balloons filling the bathtub in Tony's penthouse suite. When the man had called him over after school saying that he had an important mission for him, this is _not_ what he had in mind. 

"What are you talking about! This is a fabulous idea.", Tony countered with a grin. He'd spent the better part of the morning surreptitiously obtaining and then filling what amounted to several hundred small water bombs. almost the entire team was in the building for once and he was eager to take advantage of it. By pulling the kid into the mix he could almost guarantee success. The boy was quiet and could move about where most people didn't think to look. It was a good plan. A good, _evil_ plan. 

Peter sighed and looked pleadingly towards his mentor. "Mr. Stark. They don't even know that I'm Spider-man. Don't you think this will, I don't know... freak them out?", he asked not really wanting to be the reason that one or more of the Avengers had a heart attack or something. _Technically_ Captain Rogers was like, a hundred years old. It was something to consider.

Shaking his head, Tony took a few steps forward so that he could place a reassuring hand on the teenager's shoulder. "That's the idea, kid. If we can pull this off, we will be the all-time winners of any and all prank wars from here on out _and it's April Fools Day_. The timing couldn't possibly be better.", he said still grinning ear to ear. 

Ever the reasonable one, Peter sighed again as he looked up at his over-eager mentor. The man was a genius and he looked up to him but there were times that he questioned his decision-making process. He had a tendency to get an idea, become attached and then no amount of persuasion could change it. Even if, said idea, could be proven without a doubt to be a really, really bad one. Which he was sure this one was. On many levels. "What about Ms. Romanoff? She's like a crazy super-spy. She's going to see me coming and murder me.", he asserted because that was his next biggest concern. He was pretty sure this was 'kill or be killed'... maybe a combination of the two.

"She won't see you coming. They'll all be too distracted.", Tony returned with a shrug of his shoulders. 

"You know, I _did_ notice that you only said she wouldn't see me coming and _not_ that she wouldn't kill me.", Peter said with a roll of his eyes.

Rolling his eyes in return, Tony laughed. "She won't see you coming or kill you. I won't let her.", he said with confidence. While the Avengers could be a bit... exuberant... they weren't going to kill a kid just because he managed to get their hair a little wet. Very wet... drenched if he had his way and he was sure he would. The kid was already starting to break. 

"I don't know, Mr. Stark.", Peter waveringly replied. Deep down he knew that no one would literally kill him but that didn't mean they wouldn't get mad and he really didn't want the first time the Avenger's found out about his alter-ego to be while they were angry with him. He sort of imagined that moment being a little more... heroic.

"Oh, come on, kid. Don't be a spoilsport. Look, I've already got the balloons ready. All you have to do it drop 'em.", Tony said as he placed one of the small balloons into Peter's hand.

Without any more thought, Peter nodded his head and started placing the water-filled ammunition into the carrier bag, his mentor had set out for him. "Fine but if Ms. Romanoff kills me then you're going to have to call Aunt May and then _she's_ going to kill _you_.", he sternly pressed, throwing a mildly displeased glare at the man in the process.

"You won't die.", Tony once again assured as he watched the kid fill the bag up with glee. He already picturing his teammates dripping with water and covered in little bits of colorful balloon pieces. It was going to be priceless. "FRIDAY call the team to the common room. Tell them... tell then something that will make them all get their butts in the room without suspicion.", he vaguely requested, having not gotten that far into the planning process. He knew his AI could figure something out though. She was clever like that.

"Would you like for me to tell them that you've blown up another kitchen appliance in an attempt to 'improve it', Boss?". FRIDAY returned sounding almost smug. Peter laughed. Tony glared at the ceiling with his arms crossed over his chest.

"No, I do not.", Tony hissed through his teeth before turning towards his still cackling mentee. "You hush.", he said, pointing an authoritative finger in the kid's direction. "...and you...", he continued, back to glaring at the ceiling, "That was one time why would you suggest that?"

"Outside of a direct call to assemble, that would appear to be the quickest and most effective way of getting the team together.", FRIDAY casually explained, leading to more laughter from Peter.

Tony sighed and ran his hands down his face. "Just tell them I have an announcement. Something about equipment upgrades of something.", he said with a flourish of his hand. He was pretty sure that too would get there attention. Typically they had to beg him to improve their equipment. He liked it when they had to beg. It made the entire process more gratifying. 

"I'm on it, Boss.", the AI came back, sounding exasperated. 

Tony gave a curt, nod and then realized that the boy was still sitting on the floor practically rolling with amusement. "Stop laughing. You can be all spidery-stealth if you're laughing.", he spat. FRIDAY was already sending out his message. It was go-time. They needed to get _serious._

"I'm sorry, Mr. Stark.", Peter said as he wiped the jubilant tears from his eyes. "I'm just imagining the whole team running to the kitchen to find you looking like Wile. E. Coyote after a run-in with the roadrunner. Hair sticking up and everything.", he explained and he could see his mentor actively trying not to smile at the notion. 

"Yeah, you're sorry alright.", Tony grumbled and then wildly gestured towards the balloons. "Get your balloons and get going."

Once the kid was loaded up and crawling towards the ceiling, Tony started to casually walk into the common room where several of his teammates were already waiting for him. Some of them looked bored while others looked a little more confused than anything else but Steve was the first to confront him about anything. 

"Hey, Tony. FRIDAY said something about equipment upgrades. I thought you said you weren't doing that again for months.", Steve said with a cautious smile and a curious glint to his eyes. 

Tony shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded his head, trying to keep it casual. "Yeah, well, I'm feeling generous and the suit that you have does nothing for your patriotic posterior.", he replied with a smirk.

"Hey now... that tush is a national treasure.", Bucky snarked with a grin as he walked past them towards the couch and sat down on the end not currently being occupied by the resident super-spy.

"Can we stop talking about the Cap's derriere and get this over with? I was about to dye my hair." Natasha quipped, her tone conveying nothing but disinterest. 

It was about that time that Clint finally made it into the room and looked between Natasha and Tony before mumbling under his breath, "Never get between a woman and her hair", as if he had some sort of horrifying experience in that department. It wouldn't be surprising. He was married and had a pre-teenaged daughter. But. That was definitely going to have to be a story for another day. They needed to get this party started.

"Alright, that's enough. Everyone's here? Great.", Tony said as his eyes wandered around the room doing a mental head-count. They were all there save for Thor who was probably out doing god knows what. "Take a seat. I'm giving you all a total of ten minutes to tell me what you want to have upgraded. Starting now."

"Wait! All at once?" Rhodey inquired with indignance.

Tony tapped his watch and grinned at the group before him. "Yep, better start talking.", he said hoping that the team yelling over one another would be enough to keep anyone from noticing the kid when he came creeping into the room. 

"How can you possibly understand what we're asking for it we're all talking at once?", Wanda added with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Eh. I'll figure it out.", Tony said and then dramatically looked back down at his watch. "Nine minutes."

From there the large group began to do exactly what he imagined they would do. Several of them began to talk over each other while others, mostly Sam, looked on with interest. Though most of it was just them arguing about who should talk first. A peek at his watch revealed that several more minutes had passed with not one request being thrown at him and he decided to take the opportunity to up the pressure. The more occupied they were with the disjointed conversation, the better. 

"Seven minutes and I've not heard one suggestion. My generosity is running thin.", Tony chirped before laughing to himself. He'd caught a glimpse of the kid crawling into the room. No one else seemed to have noticed. Everything was going according to plan. " _Drown me_ in your ideas.", he continued pulling a groan from his favorite science buddy.

"Can you not count down like that? It stresses me out.", Bruce strained as he brought his hands to his hair. There was a tiny part of Tony that was ever so slightly worried that the man might turn green before this was all over with. He really hoped that wasn't the case... _maybe he should have let him in on everything._ He supposed it was too late for that now.

It was then that Peter managed to line himself up with the giant couch that held the majority of the team and began to bombard them with the water-filled balloons. He tried really hard not to pay attention to the shrieks and squawks coming from them as they hit their targets. Though it was Clint who was the first one to jump out of his seat and shout.

"What the heck was that about, Stark!", the archer demanded to know but at that point, all Tony could do was watch with delight, laughter bubbling up out of him in waves.

The next to have anything to say was Rhodey who had looked up at the ceiling. "Who is that? ...and how... how is he doing that?", the man asked as he tried to shield his eyes from the still incoming water balloons. It wasn't until Peter arsenal seemed to have run dry that he got a good look. "Wait is that Peter? You're... _whatever he is._.. Peter?", he further questioned with shock. 

Seeing as all eyes were now on him, Peter disengaged on his hands and waved to the group. "Uh... Hi guys.", he said, his voice slightly higher pitched than he would have liked.

"Peter, what are you doing up there?", Rhodey finally asked him after several seconds of silence, which seemed odd considering the number of people in the room. Then again there was a teenager sitting on the ceiling and that was probably a lot to take in.

"Did Stark do something to the ceiling to make it sticky? How? I mean, what did he use?", Bruce, ever the scientist, asked immediately after. He seemed far more interested in the how than the why. No one answered either question.

Deciding that it was time to come out with it, Peter replied, 'I'm Spider-man', at the exact same time Natasha said, 'He's Spider-man', causing Peter to panic ever so slightly. He really thought he'd been doing an A-plus job of keeping his identity on the down-low while he was around the Avengers Tower. Apparently not... then again he was currently hanging upside down over there heads. Maybe it wasn't a stretch for her to have said that.

"How did you--", Peter began to sputter but was cut off quickly.

"--Do you doubt my skills?", Natasha challenged with a quirk of her brow. It hadn't been that hard to put together. Spider-man was clearly young and... sticky. As was the boy on the ceiling. She was pretty sure a kindergartener could have made that connection.

Having seemingly fallen out of his stupor, Steve looked at Tony with surprise and disappointment. "Tony! You brought a kid to--", he began only to be waved off almost instantly. 

"Yeah, yeah... I know, not my best choice but let's get back to the real deal here. Not one of you saw that coming. Right?", Tony shot back with a grin as he rubbed his hands together with excitement.

"The water balloons or the fact that Spider-man is twelve?", Bucky asked appearing completely unfazed by both assessments.

With a grunt of frustration, Peter smoothly dropped down to the floor and looked defeatedly in Bucky's direction. "I'm fifteen.", he practically pouted but all that seemed to do was to make everyone smile at him like he was some sort of a fluffy puppy.

"Same thing.", Natasha retorted with a barely concealed smirk before turning her attention back to the front of the room. "....but if you want to talk about the water balloons then all means... let's talk.", she cooly stated as he reached into her jacket and pulled out a fully-loaded water gun. At that point, everyone else followed suit. Each of them pulling one or two colorful guns out while grinning like cats.

Then just as Tony started to shout, asking what they thought they were doing, they all hoped up and aimed towards Peter who was looking between them and his mentor with wide eyes as Clint shouted, "Get the Spider!"

"What! This wasn't even my idea! It was all Mr. Stark!", Peter adamantly defended, holding his hands up, closing his eyes and bracing himself for the relentless spray that never came. After what felt like several seconds he cracked an eye open and saw that Captain Rogers had his hand up indicating that everyone should hold their fire. 

"You heard the kid.", Steve said once he and Peter had met eyes. "Get Stark."

That was all that needed to be said before more than a dozen jets of water started spraying past Peter, landing squarely on his mentor's grey t-shirt and face. "This isn't fair! How did you know!", the man demanded as he held up his hands in a feeble attempt to keep himself dry.

"You live with a bunch of superheroes! What did you expect!", Natasha came back. She'd mostly figured out what the man was up to early that morning and once the meeting was called, that had confirmed her suspicions that there was a second party involved. It was easy enough to put together that the co-conspirator would be Peter though she'd admittedly not expected the kid to reveal his secret identity. Which _she_ had figured out _months_ ago.

"You're a bunch of sneaky eavesdroppers is what you are.", Tony shouted as he geared up to run. If he could get back to the penthouse, he was sure there were more balloons there. He was also pretty sure the kid still had a few on him but the boy was just standing there watching instead of helping. "Come on, Kid, back me up. Where are the rest of the balloons?", he pressed while darting across the room to grab the kid by the arm, only to be dodged. 

After getting away from his mentor's hand's Peter pulled a bright red water bomb out of the bag and smiled. "They're right here, Mr. Stark.", he said and lifted it up, with the clear intention of throwing it at the man's chest.

"Kid...", Tony warned both miffed and amused that the kid had so rapidly switched sides. _The traitor._ "Don't you--", he began but before he could finish there was a splash of water coming up from where the balloon had hit him just below the neck. At that point, everyone was laughing, Peter included.

"You had better run you little sh--", Tony shouted.

"--You can't outrun me, Mr. Stark!", Peter finished as they both rook off towards the penthouse. Several more balloons hitting Tony's chest and shoulders as they ran.

By the time, the two of them were out of sight, the other Avengers had long since emptied their guns and were left standing there looking at each other in complete bewilderment. "I knew I liked him.", Natasha finally said, thus breaking the silence.

"Is no one going to talk about the fact that Tony brought a literal child into a--", Steve sighed out but no one else seemed to share his concern. Not even Sam who had been quietly sitting thought he entire series of events. Rather they seemed eager to move right past that conversation.

"--Can it Cap.--", Clint interjected.

"--That was uncalled for.", Steve bit back without pause.

"Save it for another day. We need to help the kid corner Stark before he calls a suit.", Clint returned as he shook the excess water out of his hair and started to bound down the hallway. Everyone else followed quickly behind, some diverging to refill water supplies while others followed the drips and puddles on the floor towards the elevator. 

With a deep sigh, Steve threw his head back and smiled. "FRIDAY? Where can we find Tony?", he asked he slowly made his way towards the kitchen to grab his newly refilled water gun. He knew it was a fool's war... but it did look like fun.

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently I'm on [Tumblr](https://yes-i-am-happyaspie.tumblr.com/) now. 😂 I think I've almost got the hang of it... probably... maybe.
> 
> As always, your kudos and comments are equally appreciated. I love hearing from you guys!


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